Plot twist

One of the things I like most about Torbe is his resilience.  If there were a dictionary of cliche phrases, his picture would be next to this one: “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.


There have been a couple of plot twists (as I like to think of them) in Torbe’s life recently.  As usual, he is handling them with style, grace, and general aplomb.


First, Torbe announced recently on his blog that he is shelving his movie project, Putero y yo.  I was sad to read this, but if Torbe is not happy with the end product, he is wise to cut his losses.  He said he is now viewing the whole thing as a learning experience, sort of like getting a master’s degree in cinema.  He will make a feature film some day in the future, and will do a better job of it as a result of having gone through his Putero y yo experience.

Second, Torbe is going to get checked for diabetes.  He seems concerned that he might be suffering some symptoms after reading an article about how many Spanish people have this condition and don’t know it.  I hope he doesn’t have diabetes, but I am glad he is going to get himself checked out for it just in case.

falling down

Finally, Torbe is de-bunking the story in the Spanish press a while back about how he wants to leave the porn industry.  Torbe says he was misquoted when the news got out that he was making a non-porn film (Putero y yo).

Torbe cambiar la vida

Torbe is always up for a change in his life, as indicated in this headline…but not in ways that take him out of the porn arena. At least not yet.

Hola hamijos

Torbe’s latest addition to his Torbe dice video library is absolutely hilarious.

torbe dice hamijos2

Torbe has established a pattern of always using the same greeting: Hola hamijos!  It is quite cute.  He puts a different spin on how he says it in each vlog, and the version he has come up with for this particular edition is spectacular.  He even posted a short clip of it on Instagram.  It is definitely worth watching.

The topic of this segment deals with how to drive a woman crazy in bed.  Torbe likes to share with his fans from time to time some helpful hints he has learned through his vast sexual experiences with women.  In this vlog, he explains in great detail — complete with props — a particular technique that he purports drives women insane in the sack.

torbe dice hamijos

I about fell out of my chair when I watched his demonstration with a light bulb and a roll of tape!  Soooooo funny!  Again, I don’t know if I particularly agree with Torbe’s recommended sex techniques, but he is definitely the expert, so I will defer to him in that arena for sure.  I will just say that not all of his suggested techniques will appeal to all women, and leave it at that.  :)

I have become completely obsessed with watching all of Torbe’s vlogs.  His written blog posts have gotten shorter, but he has been uploading his vlogs quite often.  So far, I still like the ones where Torbe is walking around Madrid best, although they can be hard for me to understand, depending on the background noise.  I also like the ones he does in his apartment that include Ramona, Jacinta, and Araceli in supporting roles.  But really…any vlog of Torbe’s is worth watching and listening to.

Roller coasters

I live less than an hour away from what some people consider to be the best roller coaster park in the world.  Seriously.  If you don’t believe me, check out this article from the Daily Mail:  Best roller coaster park in the world.  Even the generally unflappable Brits were blown away.  You can also check out the video links in the article itself if you would like to experience some of the rides there!

roller series

Roller coasters have come a long way in the past few years.  They are taller…faster…longer…and scarier.  There are also more varieties of coasters now.  But no matter what innovations have been put into place, they all still have one thing in common.  You start out slow and then speed up!  After all, what is a roller coaster ride without speed?  :)

roller millennium_drop

So what do roller coasters have to do with Torbe?  Plenty.  At least they do for me when I am watching Torbe’s latest innovation, his Torbe Dice vlogs.

The Torbe Dice segments have developed in a very interesting way over time.  Torbe chooses different topics to talk about.   He chooses different locations in which to record his vlogs.  Sometimes he talks about current day issues, and other times he tells funny, fascinating, and hilarious stories about his life experiences.  Like a roller coaster, Torbe’s vlogs always start out slow, and then they speed up as he develops his themes.  By the end of the vlog, he is speaking extremely fast, and you really feel like you’ve experienced true Torbellino tactics, ha ha!

roller raptor

I am able to keep up with Torbe’s vlogs until about the half way point of the video.  That is usually when he starts speaking very fast, and I struggle quite a bit in my comprehension levels then.  But it is good practice for me.  I watch and listen to his vlogs over and over again until I am able to comprehend at least 75 per cent of what Torbe is saying.  And of course, Torbe is very, very funny…so I laugh a lot when I finally get to the point where I understand the jokes he makes from time to time.

Watching and listening to Torbe’s vlogs is like riding a huge roller coaster for me.  Sometimes stressful, but always exhilarating.


“Adorbs” is a slang term here used when something can be described as completely adorable.  Beyond adorable, even.  And that would be Ramona for sure!

Torbe y Ramona viajando

And Torbe is adorable, too, of course.  Beyond adorable, even.  :)

I love photos of Torbe y Ramona!

Focal points

Focal points are an interesting thing.  Most people’s eyes are drawn to a specific spot in a photograph or a painting, so when you frame your shot or you arrange your composition, you generally take that into account.

But that doesn’t work for me.  Oh no.  My line of sight is not that of your average person, particularly when it comes to looking at the photos Torbe sometimes posts.  I tend to look at anything but the main event, so to speak.

This was definitely the case the other day when I looked at Torbe’s post and accompanying video in which he explains how to bring a woman to orgasm.  Um…OK.  I did watch his video, but I don’t particularly agree with his suggestions.  But to each her own, I guess.

What I was drawn to was this:

Torbe home

What is the painting on the wall behind Torbe in his home?  Details, please, Torbe.  I want to know!  :)

She’s baaaacccckkk

Oh God.  She’s back.  Tweeting at Torbe.  And trying to get his attention once again.

Who is back, you say?  Well.  The Crazyass Chichirrera, of course.  Who else?


chicharerra tweet

She never quits.  She’s like gum on your shoe…

gum on shoe

Or kudzu…


Or maybe a jellyfish with lots of poisonous tentacles!

TOWNSVILLE, QUEENSLAND, AUSTRALIA - 09FEB05:  HQ Aquarium - the box jellyfish has the most powerful stingers and can kill a human who is not treated immediately. (Photo by Melanie Stetson Freeman/The Christian Science Monitor/Getty Images)   Original Filename: 77750915.jpg

TOWNSVILLE, QUEENSLAND, AUSTRALIA – 09FEB05: HQ Aquarium – the box jellyfish has the most powerful stingers and can kill a human who is not treated immediately. (Photo by Melanie Stetson Freeman/The Christian Science Monitor/Getty Images) Original Filename: 77750915.jpg

Whatever.  You get the idea.  She’s after Torbe again.  Torbe does a vlog about how he needs to have 10,000 Euros per month to spend on putas and good meals, and she is right on his tail once more.

Torbe can handle her, I know.  She is just so annoying though. As I said earlier…blech.

Torbe dice

I have been holding back on posting about this topic for a while.  But it is time to do so now.

“Torbe dice” is a new segment in the Torbellinesca universe.  For a little while now, Torbe has been posting video blogs — known here as vlogs — about random topics.  Torbe records these short segments in all kinds of places, at all kinds of times, with all kinds of themes. They are very much cinéma vérité in scope.

I love them.

And I hate them.


photo (3)

I love them because it gives me something that I have had very little access to until now…an unedited version of Torbe talking with no interruption from others. Oh, there have been video interviews of Torbe over the years that I have been able to watch. And there have been snippets of video of Torbe talking as well, mostly when he is trying to showcase a Chica de Torbe or two (or twelve, ha ha!).  But a solid five, six, or seven minutes of pure Torbe?  No.  That has not happened before.

I enjoy watching Torbe be…Torbe.  Just being himself, reflecting on whatever topic is on his mind that day.  I like experiencing his personality.  I like watching how he expresses himself.  I like hearing his voice in a normal tone, sans pig noises.  :)  And I really like being able to see how his mind works.

But at the same time, I also hate these Torbe vlogs!  They frustrate me, because it is very, very hard for me to comprehend what Torbe is saying in them.  I have to watch them over and over again before I can even begin to get the gist of the points he is making.  And sometimes Torbe is simply easier to understand than others, depending on the venue in which he makes the recording.

It is always a struggle for me to understand what he is talking about in these video reflections.  A real struggle.  But it is also a challenge.  And it gives me the chance to listen to Spanish being spoken at a normal rate of speed.  So even though it is hard for me to comprehend, I know it is good practice for me, since I have very little opportunity to engage in extensive “normal conversational rate of speed” talks in Spanish on my own.

Just when I master the language skills necessary to keep up with Torbe in cyberspace, he changes the game up on me and makes me work harder.  Grrrrr!  But that is why I will never get bored with Torbe, and why I will always have things to write about him here on Torbe En Todo.  When you are a student at La Universidad de Torbe, there is always something new to learn.


Torbe(llino) is always a man on the move.  Always.  And this time he has moved on from Budapest to Kiev.

He has been posting some fantastic photos of his travels on Instagram.  I am loving it!  He has had some really interesting meals in Kiev, and also has posted some good photos of the area in general.  Today he was checking out tanks from World War II.


Torbe is just full of fun wherever he goes in the world.  :)

Scents and Smells

Torbe is off traveling again for work, this time in Budapest.  He is doing his thing with the Hungarian chicks.  And a Serbian here and there as well.

On his off time from his follar-ing action, he is having fun checking out all of the girls in bikinis at the thermal spas there.  He visited one called the Széchenyi Thermal Bath.  I have no idea how you pronounce that.  But it looked like a nice place.


I too have a history with thermal springs here in the States.  I find them to be strange places, usually full of weird people.  But they can be fun to experience if you are in the mood for it.

The minerals in the waters are supposed to be very good for you.  Some pools contain iron, some copper…and some have  sulphur.  I am not a big fan of the ones that contain sulphur.  As we say here when something stinks — pee-yew!

Which got me thinking of a question that was posed to me by a reader.  A perverted reader, of course.  But it is an interesting question once you remove the perversion quotient.  The reader asked me, “Giovanna, what do you smell like?”

Hmmph.  My first thought was that I smell nice.  How dare anyone suggest otherwise!  :)  Basically, I smell like my perfume, I suppose.  So I smell like Hermès.  At any given time, I smell like one of four signature scents: 24 FaubourgEau des Merveilles, Elixir des Merveilles, or Jour d`Hermes Absolu.  My all-time classic is of course 24 Faubourg, but I like to mix it up every once in a while.


When I work out, I use Nirvana Black by Elizabeth and James.  It is a lighter scent on me and not as overpowering, which is good when you are working up a sweat in close proximity with other people.

I am afraid to ask what Torbe smells like, ha ha!  I would imagine that he doesn’t use colognes.  However, he talks a lot about being like a pig, but in reality pigs are very clean animals.  So perhaps Torbe is too.  :)


I just read Torbe’s post on his blog from today.  He talks about how he has been slowly losing weight throughout 2015.  He is happy with his progress and hopes to have lost a total of 10 kilos by the end of the year.  He attributes his success at losing weight — albeit slowly — to a couple of factors.

First, he is walking at least an hour a day.  And he is back to swimming on a more regular basis.  So he is moving and burning calories without being obsessive about working out.

Second, he has been less stressed out lately, partially because it is summer.  He credits a lower stress factor as helping him to eat less.  Apparently, Torbe is a stress-eater.


I really relate to Torbe right now.  I have been absent from my blog here at Torbe En Todo for a couple of months now.  And it is all due to stress.  Work stress.  Family stress.  Computer problems stress.  Lawn mowing stress.  It all adds up, and it generally adds up to no good.  Stress not only can make you fat, it can also slowly kill you.

The other thing I like about Torbe’s weight loss plan is that he has started posting photos on his Instagram account (presumably taken while he is on his daily walks) of various sites in Madrid, which I love.  Longtime blog readers here will be familiar with my fascination with a good travel photo, ha ha!  And Torbe is well aware of it as well.  His shots today of Retiro park were really fabulous.  I plan to book a hotel or apartment in that area to stay in when I come to Madrid.  I love that area very much.  Plus, it is close to the museums, which is where I plan to spend a lot of my time when I visit there anyway.

Of course I also hope to be able to meet Torbe in person in Madrid.  I don’t have a specific travel time frame yet, but I am sure Torbe will at least let me shake his hand and take a photo with him if he is in town when I arrive.  I know he is very busy with all of his projects, so I really appreciate his willingness to meet one of his American (non-porn) fans!  And the thought of possibly meeting Torbe someday allows me to de-stress a little in my own life and gives me something fun to look forward to in the meantime.


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