“Adorbs” is a slang term here used when something can be described as completely adorable.  Beyond adorable, even.  And that would be Ramona for sure!

Torbe y Ramona viajando

And Torbe is adorable, too, of course.  Beyond adorable, even.  :)

I love photos of Torbe y Ramona!

Focal points

Focal points are an interesting thing.  Most people’s eyes are drawn to a specific spot in a photograph or a painting, so when you frame your shot or you arrange your composition, you generally take that into account.

But that doesn’t work for me.  Oh no.  My line of sight is not that of your average person, particularly when it comes to looking at the photos Torbe sometimes posts.  I tend to look at anything but the main event, so to speak.

This was definitely the case the other day when I looked at Torbe’s post and accompanying video in which he explains how to bring a woman to orgasm.  Um…OK.  I did watch his video, but I don’t particularly agree with his suggestions.  But to each her own, I guess.

What I was drawn to was this:

Torbe home

What is the painting on the wall behind Torbe in his home?  Details, please, Torbe.  I want to know!  :)

She’s baaaacccckkk

Oh God.  She’s back.  Tweeting at Torbe.  And trying to get his attention once again.

Who is back, you say?  Well.  The Crazyass Chichirrera, of course.  Who else?


chicharerra tweet

She never quits.  She’s like gum on your shoe…

gum on shoe

Or kudzu…


Or maybe a jellyfish with lots of poisonous tentacles!

TOWNSVILLE, QUEENSLAND, AUSTRALIA - 09FEB05:  HQ Aquarium - the box jellyfish has the most powerful stingers and can kill a human who is not treated immediately. (Photo by Melanie Stetson Freeman/The Christian Science Monitor/Getty Images)   Original Filename: 77750915.jpg

TOWNSVILLE, QUEENSLAND, AUSTRALIA – 09FEB05: HQ Aquarium – the box jellyfish has the most powerful stingers and can kill a human who is not treated immediately. (Photo by Melanie Stetson Freeman/The Christian Science Monitor/Getty Images) Original Filename: 77750915.jpg

Whatever.  You get the idea.  She’s after Torbe again.  Torbe does a vlog about how he needs to have 10,000 Euros per month to spend on putas and good meals, and she is right on his tail once more.

Torbe can handle her, I know.  She is just so annoying though. As I said earlier…blech.

Torbe dice

I have been holding back on posting about this topic for a while.  But it is time to do so now.

“Torbe dice” is a new segment in the Torbellinesca universe.  For a little while now, Torbe has been posting video blogs — known here as vlogs — about random topics.  Torbe records these short segments in all kinds of places, at all kinds of times, with all kinds of themes. They are very much cinéma vérité in scope.

I love them.

And I hate them.


photo (3)

I love them because it gives me something that I have had very little access to until now…an unedited version of Torbe talking with no interruption from others. Oh, there have been video interviews of Torbe over the years that I have been able to watch. And there have been snippets of video of Torbe talking as well, mostly when he is trying to showcase a Chica de Torbe or two (or twelve, ha ha!).  But a solid five, six, or seven minutes of pure Torbe?  No.  That has not happened before.

I enjoy watching Torbe be…Torbe.  Just being himself, reflecting on whatever topic is on his mind that day.  I like experiencing his personality.  I like watching how he expresses himself.  I like hearing his voice in a normal tone, sans pig noises.  :)  And I really like being able to see how his mind works.

But at the same time, I also hate these Torbe vlogs!  They frustrate me, because it is very, very hard for me to comprehend what Torbe is saying in them.  I have to watch them over and over again before I can even begin to get the gist of the points he is making.  And sometimes Torbe is simply easier to understand than others, depending on the venue in which he makes the recording.

It is always a struggle for me to understand what he is talking about in these video reflections.  A real struggle.  But it is also a challenge.  And it gives me the chance to listen to Spanish being spoken at a normal rate of speed.  So even though it is hard for me to comprehend, I know it is good practice for me, since I have very little opportunity to engage in extensive “normal conversational rate of speed” talks in Spanish on my own.

Just when I master the language skills necessary to keep up with Torbe in cyberspace, he changes the game up on me and makes me work harder.  Grrrrr!  But that is why I will never get bored with Torbe, and why I will always have things to write about him here on Torbe En Todo.  When you are a student at La Universidad de Torbe, there is always something new to learn.


Torbe(llino) is always a man on the move.  Always.  And this time he has moved on from Budapest to Kiev.

He has been posting some fantastic photos of his travels on Instagram.  I am loving it!  He has had some really interesting meals in Kiev, and also has posted some good photos of the area in general.  Today he was checking out tanks from World War II.


Torbe is just full of fun wherever he goes in the world.  :)

Scents and Smells

Torbe is off traveling again for work, this time in Budapest.  He is doing his thing with the Hungarian chicks.  And a Serbian here and there as well.

On his off time from his follar-ing action, he is having fun checking out all of the girls in bikinis at the thermal spas there.  He visited one called the Széchenyi Thermal Bath.  I have no idea how you pronounce that.  But it looked like a nice place.


I too have a history with thermal springs here in the States.  I find them to be strange places, usually full of weird people.  But they can be fun to experience if you are in the mood for it.

The minerals in the waters are supposed to be very good for you.  Some pools contain iron, some copper…and some have  sulphur.  I am not a big fan of the ones that contain sulphur.  As we say here when something stinks — pee-yew!

Which got me thinking of a question that was posed to me by a reader.  A perverted reader, of course.  But it is an interesting question once you remove the perversion quotient.  The reader asked me, “Giovanna, what do you smell like?”

Hmmph.  My first thought was that I smell nice.  How dare anyone suggest otherwise!  :)  Basically, I smell like my perfume, I suppose.  So I smell like Hermès.  At any given time, I smell like one of four signature scents: 24 FaubourgEau des Merveilles, Elixir des Merveilles, or Jour d`Hermes Absolu.  My all-time classic is of course 24 Faubourg, but I like to mix it up every once in a while.


When I work out, I use Nirvana Black by Elizabeth and James.  It is a lighter scent on me and not as overpowering, which is good when you are working up a sweat in close proximity with other people.

I am afraid to ask what Torbe smells like, ha ha!  I would imagine that he doesn’t use colognes.  However, he talks a lot about being like a pig, but in reality pigs are very clean animals.  So perhaps Torbe is too.  :)


I just read Torbe’s post on his blog from today.  He talks about how he has been slowly losing weight throughout 2015.  He is happy with his progress and hopes to have lost a total of 10 kilos by the end of the year.  He attributes his success at losing weight — albeit slowly — to a couple of factors.

First, he is walking at least an hour a day.  And he is back to swimming on a more regular basis.  So he is moving and burning calories without being obsessive about working out.

Second, he has been less stressed out lately, partially because it is summer.  He credits a lower stress factor as helping him to eat less.  Apparently, Torbe is a stress-eater.


I really relate to Torbe right now.  I have been absent from my blog here at Torbe En Todo for a couple of months now.  And it is all due to stress.  Work stress.  Family stress.  Computer problems stress.  Lawn mowing stress.  It all adds up, and it generally adds up to no good.  Stress not only can make you fat, it can also slowly kill you.

The other thing I like about Torbe’s weight loss plan is that he has started posting photos on his Instagram account (presumably taken while he is on his daily walks) of various sites in Madrid, which I love.  Longtime blog readers here will be familiar with my fascination with a good travel photo, ha ha!  And Torbe is well aware of it as well.  His shots today of Retiro park were really fabulous.  I plan to book a hotel or apartment in that area to stay in when I come to Madrid.  I love that area very much.  Plus, it is close to the museums, which is where I plan to spend a lot of my time when I visit there anyway.

Of course I also hope to be able to meet Torbe in person in Madrid.  I don’t have a specific travel time frame yet, but I am sure Torbe will at least let me shake his hand and take a photo with him if he is in town when I arrive.  I know he is very busy with all of his projects, so I really appreciate his willingness to meet one of his American (non-porn) fans!  And the thought of possibly meeting Torbe someday allows me to de-stress a little in my own life and gives me something fun to look forward to in the meantime.

La Jetée

I went to a film series last night that had “time” as its theme.  One of the films shown was La Jetée, which I had never seen before.  It is a short film, 30 minutes long, and is a science fiction piece about post-apocalyptic Paris.  Time travel is one of the main themes.  It is a remarkable piece, shot in black and white, made in 1962, and (except for one three-second segment midway through the film) consists solely of still shots edited together to create story and movement.


Taken piece by piece, segment by segment, the film feels very disjointed.  Nothing makes sense.  But overall, it tells quite a story.  And for me, it crystallized the disjointed feelings I have been having about Torbe lately.

Observing Torbe’s activities lately has been a lot like watching this movie.  Still photos strung together and edited very quickly, which are hard to understand from a global viewpoint.


I have been asking myself repeatedly…What IS Torbe doing?

He is doing porn, of course.  Bukkakes, Glory Holes, and many scenes with extremely young porn actresses as per usual.

He appears to be starting a porn school.

He made a cameo appearance in Pos Eso, an animated full-length feature film by Basque filmmaker Samuel Ortí Martí.

He is appearing in Spanish rap videos.

He created a new series — and a new character — called Remigio.  It is supposed to be non-porn related, but I am beyond confused by this series due to the appearance of Padre Damian as well as the use of fake teeth by both Padre Damian and Remigio, which makes it completely impossible for me to understand most of what is being said.

And of course there is still the film he shot earlier this year, Putero y yo, presumably still in the editing process.

It all seemed like too much.  Too many incomprehensible still photos strung together.  And then…I saw La Jetée.  And it all suddenly made sense to me.

Torbe is a man with a plan.  And a singular goal.  And many streams flowing into one large pond.

Pet names

Torbe wrote a very informative post on his blog today about his pets.  One of my favorite Torbe topics for sure!

Sadly, he reports that Ramona is aging quickly and suffering quite a bit from the ills that come with age.  She will be 13 years old on June 11th, a date that I honor annually.  The world became a better place on June 11, 2002 when Ramona entered it.  Like Torbe, I will always love Ramona.

ramona bandage on leg

Torbe also gave the history of his pets…Venancia (his Sphynx cat, who died of cancer this past year), Eufrasia (his Russian Blue cat who was possibly stolen by a neighbor), Araceli (another Russian Blue cat and sibling of Eufrasia from a later litter), and Jacinta (his latest feline addition, a Scottish Fold).  And of course there is his hairless skinny pig (hairless guinea pig), Benita.

I can actually pronounce all of Torbe’s uniquely named pets’ names, except for the two newest ones.  Araceli and Jacinta.  I just can’t say those names with a Spanish pronunciation.  At all.  I will just have to call them Cat 1 and Cat 2.

Oh!  And we also learned that Torbe’s first dog was named Toby.  Toby???  Where did that name come from?  Torbe did not tell that part of the story!


Even when I am not around on Torbe En Todo, I am still reading and observing.  And yes, thankfully, I am still alive.  :)

Others in my family, however, are not.  :(

In addition to my extremely demanding work schedule, an elderly family member of mine was diagnosed with terminal cancer at the beginning of the year.  He passed away at the end of last month.  Sad times for sure in my world.  And very busy times too, with everything that goes along with being in these situations, as well as with caring for those who are left behind.

It has been a life challenge for me for sure.  But the one constant in my life during these troubling times has been…Torbe.

Ah, yes.  The irony.  Good thing I love irony, ha ha!

spumoni 1

I think of Torbe as my metaphoric Internet-based spumoni.  Spumoni, for those who don’t know, is an Italian ice cream flavor.  Well, it is really a combination of flavors.  In its most classic form, it consists of cherry, pistachio and either vanilla or chocolate ice creams mixed together with bits of fruit and nuts.  And it is delicious.

spumoni 2

Technically, I don’t think Italians in Italy make or serve this much anymore.  And even American Italians don’t consume it as frequently as they have in the past.  Everyone here has long ago moved over to the bland American version of Neopolitan ice cream (chocolate, strawberry, and vanilla), with its precision-like layers.  Muy aburrido.  In my opinion, of course.

Torbe is like spumoni.  All mixed up in a whirlwind (or torbellino!) of very different activities, which somehow manage to come together in a beautiful mess that is both timeless and classic.

So while I have been on my recent Torbe En Todo hiatus, Torbe has kept me laughing throughout.  And intrigued.  And intellectually interested.  He has finished shooting his movie and is going forward with the editing process.  He has continued producing his porn videos on a major scale, and has even revived Padre Damian in a shoot he did recently in Linares, with another side trip to Valencia.  He engaged in battle with a dumbass YouTuber, and was able to get the YouTuber’s site shut down for harassing Torbe!  (As a side note, the crazyass Chicharrera is now tweeting with the dumbass YouTuber, which I find interesting.  Torbe’s haters always seem to find each other.)

Finally, Torbe has warmed my heart with updates on Ramona’s health (she seems to be doing better!), as well as his posts about his new cats, Araceli (whose name I will never be able to pronounce) and Jacinta (I can almost manage to pronounce this one).  Like Torbe, I love animals, so his posts about his furry family members are probably my favorites.  His posts about food are still a close second, though!

So to my long-distance Internet/Twitter/Instagram amigo Torbe…thank you.  Thank you for being there during my difficult times, and thank you for helping me through them.  And happy birthday to you tomorrow, my friend.  Happy, happy birthday!  I hope to be able to meet you in person this year at long last.  :)

P.S. — For the native English speakers who read this blog, yes…the analogy of Torbe to spumoni is intentional.  As you must know by now, I do love irony!  (For the non-native English speakers, in some areas of the USA, “spumoni” is slang for sperm.)


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